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Nurturing the Self

We women are an interesting species. We take on so many roles in our life, which make life interesting but also create stress and discontent. Unfortunately, we cannot be everywhere, looking after everyone and acting cool calm and collected and looking fantastic all at the same time! Being superwoman is a myth. You will burn yourself out, or miss really living or at worst make yourself ill.

Of course, many of these roles are a vital part of who we are. Mother, daughter, sister, best friend, wife/girlfriend, parent help, nursemaid, career woman, committee member, home tutor, gardener, cleaner, entertainment coordinator, fundraiser, budget adviser, and the list goes on and on and on. So do we give ourselves a pat on the back, or kind words of praise as we would to a friend or employee or one of our children?

More often, we speak to ourselves critically or dwell on thoughts of failure, guilt and self-blame. Some of these may be familiar to you:

“I should spend more time with mother/ father/ gran/ or the children.”

“I should have prevented little Johnny from tripping over that step!”

“Mary’s house is always sparkling, why can’t I be a better housekeeper?”

“Dot earns more than I do and always looks so beautiful.”

“My teenager is always moody. What have I said to upset her?”

Hello! You are not responsible for every mishap or for everyone’s moods or problems.

Women generally do a fantastic job of juggling work, mothering, or caring for elder relatives, friends, looking after house, garden, pets, not to mention men.

It’s time we looked at what we do achieve and give credit to ourselves for being so fabulous.

How about treating ourselves with the consideration and care that we give to others?

Sit yourself down with a nice cuppa and tell yourself what a great job you have done today.

Remind yourself of your many positive qualities. Plan to do something to nurture yourself.

Whatever makes YOU feel good? It may be a soak in the bath, a walk by the beach, a new haircut or a fabulous relaxing massage. Whatever it is, give yourself permission to do something which you will really enjoy and which nurtures your soul.

Say, “I deserve to take care of myself” “I am pretty damn fabulous. “

Written by Diane Belz of Tranquil Therapy specialising in Massage and Holistic Therapy.

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